Stick to the Report
by Sophie French
Summary: Draco has his very own way of writing reports.


**A/N:** So this is a silly companion piece to The Gentlewizard Club so it makes much more sense if you read it first! :)

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><p>"What on earth have you done this time?" Harry said as he dropped the parchment on his desk, encumbered by a ridiculous amount of fan mail once again and by Draco's bottom as he was perched on it as usual. Honestly, sometimes Harry wondered why Draco even had a desk.<p>

Draco brought a hand to his chest in this annoying manner he had to sound indignant when all evidence pointed towards him.

"Me? I didn't do anything, Potter. I am an exemplary Auror, as everybody knows here."

"Then why is Kingsley summoning us in his office again?"

Draco cast a quick glance around him, checking nobody could hear them, which was ridiculous, really, since they were alone in their office. He leaned forward and spoke in a conspiratorial tone.

"I have a theory."

"Oh Merlin, no." Harry leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Here we go again.

"Potter, this is very serious." Draco's foot came in contact with Harry's thigh and Harry opened his eyes. Draco cast another worried glance around them before lowering his voice again. "It's just a pretext."

Harry frowned. "A- A what?"

"A pretext, Potter, you know something you use-"

"I know what it means." Harry absentmindedly ran a hand on his arm and Draco frowned.

"Does it still hurt?" Draco asked, his eyebrows pulled down, and Harry noted a touch of worry in his voice. Harry was just recovering from their little stunt a couple of days ago.

"No, it's fine. It's just- still a little bit stiff is all."

"Right. But you have to go back to St Mungo's if you ever-"

"I know. Please, come to the point."

"Okay, where was I? Oh yes, Shacklebolt. I think he likes me," Draco said, his voice barely above a whisper now.

"Excuse me, what?"

"Shaklebolt. You know, tall, dark skinned, always very elegant?" Draco looked around him again as if Kingsley could hear him. "I think he has the hots for me," he murmured.

Harry burst out laughing. He stopped dead when he saw the look on Draco's face.

"Oh my god, you _are_ serious."

"Of course, Potter, what do you think?" And there was something akin to hurt on his face.

"Bloody hell."

"Don't tell me you've never noticed the way he looks at me?"

"Er," Harry said. "But that's-"

"How often I am summoned in his office? Seriously, do you know any other Auror who's spent half the time I have in there?" Draco had this little gesture with his hand, stating his point.

"Hell, no but-"

"How his face is so expressive whenever he looks at me?"

"But that's bec-"

"No, Potter." Draco shook his head and held out a hand in front of him. "As painful as it is to me to realise that my charms and smashing personality have made yet another victim, I have to take my responsibilities and face him."

Harry blinked a couple of times.

Draco sighed dramatically. "I know. It will be hard for him to get over me, but I will be gentle, don't worry about that," Draco said, patting Harry on the arm in a patronising way.

"It doesn't even make any sense, I mean, Kingsley's _married_."

"Just a cover. Have you ever met Mrs Shacklebolt?"

"No, but that's-"

"Ha! You see?"

"That's not-"

"He's wearing an earring, Potter, an _earring_."

"I am appalled at what goes on in your head sometimes. I am gay, and I'm not wearing an earing."

"I'm sure you've already thought about it but you were too-"

"No!"

"Anyway, enough chatting. Time to go." Draco jumped out of Harry's desk and headed for the door.

Harry sighed and followed him to Kingsley's office. This was going to be a long day. Again.

"Come in," Kingsley said in his rich, deep voice, as Harry knocked on his door.

"Good morning, Sir, did you have a good night, Sir? Would you like anything to drink, Sir? Oh, let me help you with-"

"Sit down, Malfoy. You too, Potter."

Draco shut up and took a seat and Harry sat next to him. His hands were already moist as he let them fall on the armrests.

"Do you know why you're here?"

Draco looked at Kingsley in a very smug manner. "Yes, Sir. We know."

Kingsley frowned and turned to Harry who wanted to run and hide far, far away.

"Good, so you will then be able to explain to me what on earth this is all about?"

Harry blanched as Kingsley held a report file in front of them.

A report file on which there was what could be described as a giant stick figure.

"What the hell is that?" Harry couldn't help asking.

"Well, you tell me," Kingsley replied.

Harry and Kingsley turned to Draco at once.

"You don't like it," Draco said flatly.

"Draco…" Harry said, and he tried to convey everything he could in his eyes so that Draco finally got the message.

"Oh. _Oh._ Okay, I- That's- Yes, I, er, you know." Draco shrugged. He looked like a little child caught with his hand in a cauldron full of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.

Kingsley narrowed his eyes and Harry could see that it was bad.

"It's Teddy," he blurted, silently apologising to his five year old innocent nephew.

"What?" Kingsley and Draco both said as they turned to him at once.

"Er, yes, because, I- I brought the report home and- and Teddy, well, he- he did, well, he drew this because you know he's a…"

"Brat? Minx? Spoil rotten delinquent?" Draco provided, eyebrows raised in encouragement.

Harry shot him a dark glance. "… Child, who also happens to be your _cousin_," Harry said the last word between clenched teeth.

"Why, Potter, it's not because he has the privilege of being part of such a wonderful family that he shouldn't be punished, severely," he added, nodding in an exaggerated fashion at Kingsley, as if requesting his approval. "Because, honestly, he should be ashamed of what he did here, don't you agree, Sir?"

Harry couldn't do anything more than stare at Draco.

"I mean," Draco said, snatching the report from Kingsley's desk. "It's not that bad, really, you could even say there is potential here, yes." And Draco lost himself in the study of his drawing. "Maybe you should keep it and frame-"

"Enough!" Kingsley's voice echoed in the small office as he clapped his hands on the surface of his desk.

"You sure you don't…" Draco trailed off when he saw the look on Kingsley's face.

"Out!" Kingsley said again. "Just go away, the two of you, NOW!"

Draco scrambled up to his feet and was out the door before Harry had even reached it. "And Potter?"

Harry froze. "Yes, Sir?"

"You write the reports from now on."

"But-" The look of fury on Kingsley's face was enough to convince him. "Fine."

"And deal with him."

"I will." And Harry was out of Kingsley's office.

"I'd definitely frame it," Draco said, beaming at him, as Harry entered their office again.

And of course he did.

From then on, Draco's artwork decorated the walls of their little office.


End file.
